Comment:
This essay has a number of great strengths. It is organised well, each paragraph dealing with its own specific point and the over-all argument developed thoughtfully as the writing progresses. You make references to a wide range of specific examples to support your ideas and the ideas you develop are sophisticated and original. A particular strength of this essay is in the extent to which you have considered the reasons that the various language forms have developed the way they have. You have also gone to some trouble to explain your examples and the effects created within them in a lot of detail.
To develop your work for the future, you may wish to focus on:
WRITING STYLE:
- At times your sentences carry syntax (word order) errors that make it difficult to determine what is trying to be said.
- Sometimes you use words incorrectly, or reach for a complex word when a more simple one would suffice.
- Over-stating the point: Because you’re going to great lengths to demonstrate your point, you sometimes over-explain (see the notes where I suggest something needn’t be said, but a classic example is when you introduce an effective metaphor by saying “metaphorically speaking”). Think of your reader as being intelligent, but not yet knowledgable about this specific topic.
CONTENT:
- You have used a wide range of examples and also explained each, but at times you miss opportunities to describe these language effects in terms of the specific devices employed. While this is not essential, it does assist your clarity of expression if you simply use a term (like homophone) rather than explaining it as a way of referring to it.
React!